‘Como Boys’ annual golf tournament Sept. 15 benefits Kids for Kyla

Kids for Kyla helps couples attain the dream of creating a family by providing grants for adoption and infertility treatments

By TESHA M. CHRISTENSEN
The “Como Boys” believe in family, so when the group heard about Kids for Kyla, a nonprofit organization that gives grants for adoptions and infertility treatments, they didn’t hesitate to offer their support.
This year, group members are organizing the third annual Como Boys Legacy Golf Tournament to benefit Kids for Kyla on Fri., Sept. 15. The tournament at Island Lakes 9-Hole Golf Course in Shoreview costs $75 per golfer or $300 per foursome. It will be followed by lunch at Patrick McGovern’s in St. Paul. For more information, email tjdaulton@gmail.com or call 612-269-8248.
DONATIONS ARE ALSO ACCEPTED ONLINE AT  http://kidsforkyla.com/donate.
Doing good together
The Como Boys have been meeting for breakfast at the Key’s Restaurant at Lexington and Larpenteur for 24 years. They started getting together once a month when their kids were young, and soon that became twice a month. Now they fill up the back of Key’s every Thursday from 7-9am.
Some of the guys have known each other since grade school at Holy Childhood Catholic Church (on Midway Pkwy. and Pascal), including Bob Cardinal, Tim Daulton, and Mick Detviler. They were bound together by their neighborhood, school, and sports.
Detviler has lived in the area for 40 years, and currently has a house on the north end of Como Lake. He attended Cretin High School and then St. Thomas College. Detviler spent his career working for Coldspring Brewing Company.
Photo right: In August, the Como Boys gathered on a Tuesday to have breakfast with group member Jerry Hammer, who is the general manager of the State Fair. The Como Boys have been meeting together for breakfast for 24 years. They meet regularly every Thursday morning at the Key’s Restaurant at Lexington and Larpenteur. (Photo submitted)
Cardinal is back in Falcon Heights. He graduated from Alexander Ramsey High School (now Roseville High), and earned his degree from the University of Minnesota before starting a career in publishing.
Photo left: Since the Como Boys started having breakfast at Key’s Restaurant at Larpenteur and Lexington, Connie Gott-McCoy (left) has been their regular waitress. Also pictured: Mick Detviler, Tim Daulton, and Bob Cardinal. (Photo by Tesha M. Christensen)
Daulton grew up in Como Park within a block of Keys and now lives in Roseville. He graduated from Murray High School in St. Paul and worked in the construction field.
“This group is invaluable,” remarked Daulton. He pointed to the varied backgrounds each member brings to the table. “You come to breakfast and depending on what time you come, you’re going to sit down with different people. It’s stimulating. It’s addictive.”
“Everything and anything that goes on in the Twin Cities—somebody at the table knows something about it,” remarked Cardinal. “This is one of the cultural hubs of St. Paul. This is the way St. Paul operates.”
“It’s community,” agreed Detviler. “You’re connecting people.”
In addition to weekly breakfasts, the group gets together year-round. They have two annual events in northern Wisconsin that are attended by 20-30 guys. “That’s a lot of guys that make the effort,” noted Cardinal. “How many guys can say they’ve been getting together for 45 years?”
Helping create families
Three years ago, Daulton approached Detviler and told him he wanted to host a golf tournament for his daughter’s nonprofit—in six weeks.
When they brought it to the larger group over breakfast, everyone agreed they should officially sponsor it.
“It’s one of those things you wrap your arms around,” said Detviler. “It’s a good idea.”
The various members of the Como Boys had participated in benefits and fundraisers on their own over the years, but the Golf Classic was the first they put their stamp of approval on as a group.
“What pulls at your coat tails is that you’re helping create families,” remarked Daulton. “Family to us is such a high priority. When you get the opportunity to help create families, you’ve really got to jump on it.”
Photo left: Tim Daulton and his youngest daughter Kim enjoy a day on the golf course to raise money for Kim’s nonprofit Kids for Kyla. The annual Como Boys Golf Tournament raises money for Kids for Kyla, which provides grants to couples pursuing adoption and infertility treatments. (Photo submitted)
Organizers also hope to raise awareness about how expensive adoption and fertility treatments can be.
The first year the benefit pulled in $10,000 with 27 golfers and another 30 who just came to dinner. For the second year, Patrick McGovern’s owner Patrick Boemer, one of the Como Boys, donated the food. They raised $15,000 and had 48 golfers. For 2017, the goal is to raise $20,000 and serve about 100.
Non-golfers can opt to pay $30 for the lunch and reception at Patrick McGovern’s that begins at noon.
Daulton and Detviler have been working to get everything that they need donated, to pass along 100% of what is raised to Kids for Kyla. Starbucks donated coffee, and the Taste of Scandinavian bakery donated donuts for the 8:30am check-in and socialization time before the 10am shotgun start. Others have donated door prizes and silent auction items, or opted to sponsor a hole or T-box.
Struggle gives birth to nonprofit organization
Kids for Kyla is named after Daulton’s granddaughter, a little girl who died six days after birth.
Her parents, Daulton’s youngest daughter Kim and husband Ryan Mayeda, had struggled with infertility for two years before conceiving their “miracle baby,” and had already experienced a miscarriage. At birth, Kyla didn’t start breathing on her own, and the life-threatening complication led to brain swelling. The Mayedas made the courageous decision to donate Kyla’s heart to a 62-day-old girl and Kyla’s kidneys to an unknown recipient. Then they said goodbye.
They found themselves heartbroken, lost for words, numb to the world, still childless and facing a pile of medical bills.
Their dream of having a family hadn’t been extinguished, and they decided to pursue adoption.
Kim and Ryan got their paperwork completed, home study finished and all of their classes done. They were chosen by a birth mom on July 21, 2010, and on Aug. 21, she gave birth to a baby boy. In Colorado, parents sign papers on the fourth business day following birth. On the third day, the birth mom changed her mind and wanted the baby back. They were discouraged that they no longer had the finances to go through another adoption, making the loss and the heartache even worse. But their agency was gracious and willing to keep working with them. In October 2010, Kim and Ryan were chosen by another birth mom, a young girl in the foster system. The agency said that it was a virtually a done deal. On their way to the hospital on Nov. 5 to meet the baby girl the agency called, and told them the birth mom had changed her mind. It was another loss.
On Dec. 31, 2010, the last day of the worst year of Ryan and Kim’s life, a little girl was born.
Five weeks later, after all legal risk was cleared, they went and met little Makyla Joy for the first time and brought her to her forever home. Makyla was the answer to countless prayers, late nights and shed tears.
A year and a half later, Kim became pregnant again. Because of the journey with Kyla, the next nine months were full of anxiety, hope, fear, joy, and confusion. But on May 27, 2013, Kim delivered a healthy baby boy, Asher Timothy Masayuki Mayeda.
The Mayedas know the emotional stress on a marriage that both infertility treatment and the adoption process can cause, as well as how the financial stress of it all can make things feel hopeless. So after the disruption of the adoption, the couple decided to start Kids For Kyla in honor of their little girl Kyla. The foundation has been a way for Kim and Ryan to reach out and help people who are walking down a very difficult and often lonely road.
The average domestic adoption costs between $25,000-$35,000 and the average international adoption costs between $35,000-$50,000. Couples going through infertility treatments, on average, will spend between $10,000-$40,000 before having a child.
Financial struggle is the single largest reason that couples struggling with having children may never realize the dream of a family, pointed out R. Mayeda.
“It is our belief that there is nothing more important or sacred than family,” said R. Mayeda.
In the past six years, Kids for Kyla has given nearly $50,000 in grants to families in Minnesota and Colorado.
The money at the Como Boys golf tournament raised will help create an endowment fund for Kids for Kyla, enabling the money people donate to keep giving for years to come.
“Tell everybody you know. Pass it along. Tell your friends about what we’re trying to achieve,” said Cardinal. “It’s a little golden gem. We’re trying to make a lot of jewelry from the gold.”

This article appeared in the September 2017 edition of the St. Paul Monitor.